Monday, 3 December 2012 @ 16:32 | 0 comments

Nattassha Shaheera binti Rosli Zulkiflee. Well, that is my name. Given by my late dad & my mom. Once I asked my mom, why my name is like this. I don't like it. I want in my name have 'Putri' / 'Putery' or what ever. As long as got Puteri. Then my mom said actually they want to give me a name like this 'Putri Nattassha Shaheera' well, it was my late dad suggestion. Then my mom suddenly said better we only just put as 'Nattassha Shaheera' cause my mom likes 'Shaheera' and my late dad really likes 'Puteri' but .... erm, 'mengalah dengan bini kan' haha. So, this is me. Nattassha Shaheera, haha.

To be honest, sometimes I hate being myself. Theres one voice in my head that says 'You're not good enough;You're ugly;You're stupid' Yes, I hate that voice. Sometimes I feels like killing myself. Cause I feels like there is no 'happiness' in this world anymore since my late dad left me alone and I have to face this cruel world alone. It's been a tough years since my late dad left me and my mom. Our life changed. I've changed. My mom changed. All people changed. Not the same anymore.

Back when I was in form 1 (last year) haha, I don't like this light-pink colour stuff. I don't care what the things is, if it's light-pink, I'll hate it. But not now. Most of my stuff is light-pink colour e.g. Guitar, Bag, High heels. ahh theres more. hehe :p So girly. And seriously. I HATE HARDCORE SONGS. But now. I'm addicted to those songs. My mom said Screamo , metal-core, post-hardcore, death-core what ever, is sucks. Cause they're just screaming and screaming and screaaaaaming~ Ahhhh. only the persons that like hardcore would understands how I feels.

Now, I'm keeping my distance with every single person that I met in my life. I don't want to get attached. I don't want my heart breaks about 123456788908166336263263288982198291821 > times. Enough for the heartbreaks. I hope my new man can makes me forget that I've been lied on, stabbed by, dumped by. I want my new man makes me believe that, theres still have happiness in this cruel world. Makes me smile again. Not the fake one, The real smiles. I hope that man stay by my sides through upside-down , no matter how hard the situations is, he will stay. I don't want it to be broken promises. I need my man to complete me. And I'll love him more than anything.

Muhammad Haikal bin Jalil ♥
"I love him forever "