Wednesday, 26 December 2012 @ 02:57 | 0 comments

Lately I've been depressed and stressed. I fake a smile everyday and every moment. To be honest, I didn't even feels happy.. I know one day we will not be together anymore. I know that day will come. I hate my feelings now. There is nothing that I can do.

I can't make him happy. High expectations leads me to disappointments. I shouldn't fall for him from the first. My faults. No doubt, it's my beautiful mistakes. I admit, I'm trying to make him happy. But it just not happening. I don't know why.

Well, next week school is start and I know our relationship/love will fade even more. I can't do anything..... None. Hopeless. It's killing me inside. To be honest, I'm crying every single night. The silent cry is the most hurtful ever. I have to grab my stomach and feels like screaming and let it all out but it just cannot.

Allah has gave me a nice partner ever in my life, alhamdulillah. But I don't appreciate him. I want to appreciate, I mean I'm trying to appreciate, it just not working. I'm a moron. I hate myself a lot. In a lot of ways I really do hate myself. I'm not good in anything. I'm such a failure. Epic failure......

He cried. He fought. He exhausted. And I know ..... He fed up. Next year will be a tough year for me. Well, PMR... Haikal will go to university and in there...... you know what I mean.. urm... <///3 It breaks me..
Seriously, like I said before.. If he finds his true soul-mates one day, I have to let him go..

Sometimes, If we love that one person, We have to let him go... 

Friday, 21 December 2012 @ 04:07 | 0 comments

I know you were bored.
I know you were sicked.
I know you can't take it anymore.

All this is my faults.
All this is because of me.
All things that happened is because of me.

Please don't be sad.
Don't even sad..
Beg you..
I'll be a faithful girlfriend.

I'm scared that you will leave me.
I'm scared that one day you will lost.
I'm scared that you getting hurt/sick.

I want you to be with me always be there at my side.
For forever..

@ 03:57 | 0 comments

I never believed in love. I was deceived by love. I never had much luck with lovers before.. And I couldn't compete, I seemed just part of the street. To be walked on by everyone, but then...

I found a very special love in you. It's a feeling that's totally new. Over and over it's burning inside. And it almost breaks me in two, squeezing me tighter. But I'm never gonna let go. I know you're one of the best. You give more than you should, then take nothing in return.

Stay always with me. And I always will be The one person that you can count on always to love you..

Needed me
@ 03:50 | 0 comments

I cried a tear, you wiped it dry. I was confused, you cleared my mind. I sold my soul, you bought it back for me. And held me up and gave me dignity. Somehow you needed me. You gave me strength to stand alone again.

To face the world out on my own again. You needed me. And I can't believe it's you. I can't believe it's true. I needed you and you were there. And I'll never leave, why should I leave? I'd be a fool. Cause I finally found someone who really cares.

You held my hand when it was cold. When I was lost, you took me home. You gave me hope when I was at the end. And turned back my lies to truth again. You trying to find time for me. Just for me.. I appreciate it a lot.

You're mine forever.

Iloveyou and only you
@ 03:41 | 0 comments

I only live to love you. Love you until forever. Day after day, Month after month, Year after year, For always. We will journey together. I only live to love you. Walk with my dreams beside you.

Smile after smile, Tear after tear, Laugh after laugh, In shadow or in sunshine. My love will guide you. When there are clouds above. If I have you to love, Why do I care, When you are there.

For when you you came my way, there was no yesterday. Only tomorrow with you, there. Here is my hand to lead you. Here are my arms that need you. I only live for your love, Haikal. For my love will be your love now and forever infinity and beyond.

Thursday, 20 December 2012 @ 18:02 | 0 comments

*sigh* I feels like completely hopeless shit ever...........................

Haikal got heart's problems.. and it is really a heartbreaking moments when he told me that.
When he is sick, I can't do nothing. Nothing... Nothing that I can do. And yes, to be honest, It makes me cry. I can't stand seeing he is hurting or what. I've made him cried. Yea, because I ignored his IM. I am just so mean. Meanest.

I just want to make him happy and forgets all his problems. But cannot.... I'm so sad right now. I'm not there to catch the tears falling. I'm not there when he is not feeling well. I'm not there when he needs me the most. I'm not there when he's feeling down. I'm not even there when he callings me...

What type of girlfriend am I? I shouldn't supposed to be into a relationship. Because my partner will get is Hurt. I don't want Haikal to get hurt by me. His own girlfriend.. </3 I'm totally broken now. Into pieces.
Haikal treats me so well. He is such an amazing guy. His love, his caringness, everything. He makes me feels good. He makes me happy. But me?.....

I just hope that he will never get bored with me. Because I know, I'm such a lamoss. Such a boring person ever in this entire universe. I need him :( But if one day, he finds his true soul-mate, I'll let he go. Even though it's killing me to see him with other girl.

Haikal's happiness is everything to me.

Sunday, 16 December 2012 @ 17:56 | 0 comments

I like your smile. I like your vibe. I like your style. But, that't not why I love you. And I, I like the way, you're such a star. But, that's not why I love you. Do you feel me? Do you feel what I feel too. Do you need me? You're so beautiful. But that's not why I love you. I'm not sure you know. That the reason I love you, is you being You.

Just you.

Yes, the reason I love you is all that we've been through and that's why I love you. I like the way, you misbehaved. But that's not why I love you. And how you keep your cool when I am complicated. But that's not why I love you.

I like the way you stare at me. I like the way you get your hair in the place. I like the way you sit down. I like the way you making me stare. I like all the things that you do. Your eyes is the most beautiful. Your nose is the well-formed. Gahhh, I like the everything that yours.

Muhammad Haikal bin Jalil ♥
"I love him forever "