Wednesday, 26 December 2012 @ 02:57 | 0 comments

Lately I've been depressed and stressed. I fake a smile everyday and every moment. To be honest, I didn't even feels happy.. I know one day we will not be together anymore. I know that day will come. I hate my feelings now. There is nothing that I can do.

I can't make him happy. High expectations leads me to disappointments. I shouldn't fall for him from the first. My faults. No doubt, it's my beautiful mistakes. I admit, I'm trying to make him happy. But it just not happening. I don't know why.

Well, next week school is start and I know our relationship/love will fade even more. I can't do anything..... None. Hopeless. It's killing me inside. To be honest, I'm crying every single night. The silent cry is the most hurtful ever. I have to grab my stomach and feels like screaming and let it all out but it just cannot.

Allah has gave me a nice partner ever in my life, alhamdulillah. But I don't appreciate him. I want to appreciate, I mean I'm trying to appreciate, it just not working. I'm a moron. I hate myself a lot. In a lot of ways I really do hate myself. I'm not good in anything. I'm such a failure. Epic failure......

He cried. He fought. He exhausted. And I know ..... He fed up. Next year will be a tough year for me. Well, PMR... Haikal will go to university and in there...... you know what I mean.. urm... <///3 It breaks me..
Seriously, like I said before.. If he finds his true soul-mates one day, I have to let him go..

Sometimes, If we love that one person, We have to let him go... 

Muhammad Haikal bin Jalil ♥
"I love him forever "